đź’” TRAGIC NEWS: Local Couple Misses Out on Dreamy July Getaway Due to Chronic Indecision
June 17, 2025 – Somewhere in Budgetland
In a heartbreaking turn of events, a local couple’s plans for a romantic overnight escape — complete with a couples massage and a private hot tub — have come to a screeching halt after succumbing to the age-old enemy of dreams: indecision and Google fatigue.
Eyewitnesses (namely their houseplants) report that the couple had spent several evenings scrolling through discount travel sites, wistfully sighing over cozy cabins and spa packages “just out of reach.”
“They kept saying, ‘Let’s just book something tonight,’ but then they’d fall asleep mid-scroll,” one aloe vera plant shared. “I haven’t seen their eyes light up like that since the air fryer arrived.”
The couple had originally planned the getaway to reconnect during the first week of July — a time carefully chosen between work deadlines, family obligations, and the high pollen index. Sources close to the situation confirm that the dream involved soothing couples massages, warm bubbling water, and at least one brunch involving mimosas.
But as of today, that dream lies in ashes.
“I guess we’ll just stay in and binge-watch something sad,” one of them murmured, standing in sweatpants next to the faint glow of an expired Groupon deal. “Maybe we can fill the bathtub and take turns pretending.”
Budget constraints were blamed in part, but travel experts agree the real villain was the couple’s mutual tendency to over-research and under-commit.
“This could’ve been the romance montage of the year,” lamented a travel agent, wiping away a single tear. “All they needed was one click. Just one click.”
The community is rallying behind the couple, urging them to try again before Labor Day, reminding them that love — like a good hotel deal — waits for no one.