BREAKING: Collingwood Football Team Accidentally Joins Canadian Football League, Mistakes CFL Invite for SEC Expansion—Coach Claims “Map Was Upside Down”see more details 👇👇

BREAKING: Collingwood Football Club Accidentally Joins Canadian Football League, Mistakes CFL Invite for SEC Expansion—Coach Claims “Map Was Upside Down”

**Melbourne, VIC —** In what may be the most bizarre international sporting gaffe of the decade, the Collingwood Magpies of the Australian Football League (AFL) have accidentally joined the Canadian Football League (CFL), mistaking the league’s invitation as part of a rumored expansion of the Southeastern Conference (SEC) in American college football.

According to sources inside the club, the mix-up began when Collingwood’s football operations department received a letter stamped with a red maple leaf, addressed simply to “The Esteemed Collingwood Football Organization.” The letter invited them to “join the proud tradition of North America’s premier gridiron league.”

Collingwood head coach Craig McRae, nicknamed “Fly,” told reporters at a hastily convened press conference, *“Look, someone said it was the SEC calling, and I just thought, yeah alright, bit weird, but we’ve played in Perth in 45-degree heat—how bad could Alabama be? Turns out we were holding the map upside down. We’ve landed in Saskatchewan.”*

### A Comedy of Errors

Sources suggest that the club mistook “CFL” for “College Football League,” believing it to be a new offshoot of the SEC aimed at globalizing college football and bringing elite international clubs into the fold.

The invite had apparently been meant for the Central Florida Knights (UCF), but was incorrectly sent to Collingwood due to an AI translation error in a new international scheduling system. Still, Collingwood never blinked.

Team President Jeff Browne reportedly became excited at the idea of breaking into the American college market. “We saw ‘SEC’ and figured it was time we started winning championships in *two* hemispheres,” Browne said. “Besides, what’s the difference between gridiron and footy, really? It’s all just blokes chasing a ball.”

### New Home, New Confusion

The club boarded a charter flight out of Tullamarine International, expecting to arrive in Atlanta. Instead, they were routed to Winnipeg due to “air traffic reallocation,” which players assumed was just part of the “southern charm.”

It wasn’t until they arrived at their so-called “training facility”—a snow-covered high school field in Manitoba—that someone finally questioned whether this was, in fact, the Southeastern Conference.

By then, the damage was done. The CFL had already made an announcement welcoming “Collingwood, the Pride of Down Under,” to the league as the 10th team, calling the move “a historic moment of international football unity.”

“We just figured they knew what they were doing,” said CFL commissioner Randy Ambrosie. “They showed up with black-and-white kits, a full coaching staff, and demanded a double espresso before stepping on the field. That’s more preparation than half our league brings.”

### New Game, Same Chaos

Collingwood was quickly enrolled in the CFL’s training camp, where things took a turn from humorous to surreal. Veteran players like Scott Pendlebury and Steele Sidebottom were seen scratching their heads during the first “3rd-and-10” drill. Jack Ginnivan tried to mark the ball off a punt return and was nearly flattened by a linebacker who mistook it as a fair-catch taunt.

“We kept yelling ‘man on!’ but apparently here, that doesn’t mean anything,” said midfielder Jordan De Goey, bewildered and wearing shoulder pads three sizes too big. “Also, what the hell is a ‘rouge’? We thought that was a wine.”

With only three downs and a much wider field, the Pies found themselves struggling to adapt. McRae attempted to install an AFL-style attacking structure by lining up six players behind the 55-yard line, only for the entire offensive line to be flagged for illegal formation.

The team doctor, who had never treated ice burns before, now carries a thermos of hot water to every game. “It’s footy,” he shrugged. “Just colder and slightly more homicidal.”

### Fan Reaction: Hilarious and Proud

Back in Melbourne, the news broke overnight, sending fans into a social media frenzy. The Collingwood Army flooded Twitter and Instagram with memes of magpies wearing Mountie hats, poutine served at the MCG, and captions like “From the ‘G to the Great White North!”

“This is peak Collingwood,” said longtime fan Dazza O’Rourke outside the Westpac Centre. “Only we could confuse an American uni league for Canadian gridiron and still rock up ready to biff.”

Even rival fans joined in. A Carlton supporter posted: “Collingwood getting lost on a map is the least surprising thing to happen all year.”

Merchandise sales spiked with the release of the limited-edition *‘Snowpies’* hoodie, featuring a magpie sliding across a frozen footy oval with a beanie and CFL helmet.

### CFL’s Most Australian Season Yet

Despite their confusion, Collingwood has leaned into their unexpected new home. McRae has implemented pre-game didgeridoo ceremonies, and the team is lobbying for games to be played barefoot to “get proper grip on the turf.”

Some CFL players have reportedly picked up Aussie slang, now yelling “Oi!” instead of “Hut!” during scrimmages.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” admitted Montreal Alouettes quarterback Cody Fajardo, “but they’ve got this one bloke with a mullet who tackles like a freight train. He hit me and said ‘good on ya, mate.’ I’m terrified.”

### What’s Next?

Both the AFL and CFL are currently in emergency talks to sort out the administrative nightmare. Technically, Collingwood is under contract to play at least eight games, including two home matches—though no one has yet clarified where “home” is.

“We were thinking of hosting a game at the MCG,” CFL officials said. “But then someone told us it holds 100,000 people and runs on meat pies and mid-strength beer. We might need a few more Tim Hortons before we’re ready for that.”

As for Coach McRae?

“We’re here, we’re cold, and we’re making the most of it,” he told reporters on Friday, snowflakes settling on his clipboard. “Might be a different football, but it’s still about grit, guts, and getting the job done.”

He paused, adjusted his scarf, and added: “Besides, we’re undefeated in Canada