NOW STREAMING ON NETFLIX: DIVE INTO THE W\.A.S.P NATION
“This docu-fiction series contains scenes some viewers may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.”
EPISODE 1: “WHITE ANGLO SAXON PARADISE”
“Before the fall, there was only brunch.”
The screen flickers. Grainy footage of a sunny suburb plays in slow motion—white picket fences, gleaming SUVs, smiling couples in Patagonia vests pushing strollers named Kennedy and Thatcher. Somewhere, a golden retriever fetches an avocado toast.
A voiceover begins:
*“In the not-so-distant future, the American dream became a gated community with a biometric code. Welcome to W\.A.S.P Nation: a utopia built on gluten-free dogma, silent HOA coups, and the sacred power of networking. But even paradise has a HOA president.”*
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In 2039, after the “Great Gentrification,” coastal cities fractured under the weight of hyper-hyperinflation and climate gentrification. The elite fled inland, founding autonomous microstates. The most successful? *W\.A.S.P Nation*—a sprawling settlement somewhere between Connecticut and your cousin’s LinkedIn endorsements.
Governed by the Four Pillars—Tradition, Order, Decorum, and Pinot Grigio—W\.A.S.P Nation rebranded itself as the final stronghold of “civilized values.” Official currency? Yale legacy points. State religion? Brunch. National anthem? A slowed-down remix of “Mr. Brightside.”
Our narrator, a rogue documentarian named **Tess Calderon**, smuggled her footage out on an artisanal flash drive shaped like a miniature Lacoste polo. Her goal? Expose what really happens when a country tries to live inside a J. Crew catalog.
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**SCENE: THE INDOCTRINATION CENTER**
Children line up to recite the “Pledge of Allegiance to the Algorithm.”
*”I pledge allegiance to the Ethos, of the United Brands of White Claw, and to the Decorum for which it stands, one brunch, under Target, with lukewarm tolerance and HOA fees for all.”*
Each child wears a pastel uniform stitched with the emblem of the Four Pillars, with name tags like *Brayden H.* and *Sloane C.*. The walls are decorated with inspirational quotes from The Economist.
Behind glass, a guide named **Chadwin**, Senior Vice-President of Cultural Purity, explains to Tess:
“We don’t really *indoctrinate*, per se. We just expose children early to… elevated choices. Like, they can choose between fencing or legacy lacrosse.”
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**SCENE: THE HOA COUNCIL MEETING**
An emergency session convenes after someone paints a mural of Frida Kahlo holding an iced Americano—without HOA approval. The neighborhood is in chaos. Karen (Chair of Public Sentiment), Trevor (Director of Lawn Aesthetics), and Ashley (Deputy of Passive-Aggressive Emails) deliberate.
“The mural wasn’t even in muted tones,” hisses Karen.
“We can’t have expressive culture without express permission,” Trevor says, adjusting his Vineyard Vines blazer.
Ashley chimes in. “We vote to exile the artist. Send them to Trader Joe’s Island.”
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**SCENE: TRADER JOE’S ISLAND**
An off-the-grid punishment zone for rule-breakers, Trader Joe’s Island is a failed experiment where W\.A.S.P Nation tried to grow its own organic economy. Tess sneaks in with a local named **Jax**, a barista-turned-revolutionary.
“This is where they send anyone who tries to use a coupon or questions the Manifesto,” he says.
A makeshift commune of outcasts now thrives there, led by a radical former SoulCycle instructor. They grow their own kale, say “y’all” unironically, and worship Phoebe Bridgers.
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**SCENE: THE SECRET CABAL**
Back in the nation’s core, a deeper secret emerges: a hidden council known only as **The Legacy Ring**—ancient alumni bound by ancestral country club blood oaths. Their purpose? Maintain W\.A.S.P dominance in a world increasingly allergic to mayonnaise.
One member, codenamed “Rutherford V,” speaks in shadows:
“We engineered the housing algorithm. Every zip code. Every wine list. We control the flow of engagement rings, brunch reservations, and vintage Volvo supply chains. No rebellion shall rise—unless they wear proper seersucker.”
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**SCENE: THE UPRISING**
The series finale builds toward a climactic rebellion.
A collective of disillusioned youths, calling themselves **The Spork Union**, begins disrupting mimosa shipments and planting non-regulation rose bushes. Their leader? A biracial, bisexual, Brooklyn-based poet-in-exile named **Juniper Z.**, who wields irony like a weapon.
In a viral moment, Juniper hacks the W\.A.S.P Nation’s central speaker system and blasts Cardi B over the national Whole Foods intercom. People panic. Side parts tremble. Chadwin drops his Lacroix.
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**FINAL SCENE: THE GALA**
At the annual “Decorum Ball,” Tess sneaks into the grand hall dressed in a recycled Tory Burch gown. Chandeliers swing. Champagne flows from a gluten-free fountain. As the camera pans across powdered noses and tight smiles, her voice cuts through:
*”You can polish a pearl clutch, but you can’t hide the cracks in your culture. W\.A.S.P Nation wasn’t built to last. Just to last *long enough*.”*
The screen fades to black.
*“This documentary is banned in 31 microstates. Viewer discretion was not followed.”*
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NOW STREAMING. ONLY ON NETFLIX.
W\.A.S.P NATION:
*“When perfection is poli
cy, rebellion is inevitable.”