BREAKING: Florida Gators Shock College Football World by “Selling” Star Quarterback to Dallas Cowboys for $3.2 Million and a BBQ Food Truck
In a move that has stunned fans, confused the NCAA, and reportedly crashed several sports forums, the Florida Gators have “sold” their star quarterback, Jaxon “Cannon Arm” Riley, to the Dallas Cowboys for a cool $3.2 million… and a custom-built BBQ food truck.
The unprecedented transaction, which experts are calling “completely illegal but wildly imaginative,” was allegedly finalized in a Gainesville Waffle House at 3:47 AM. Gators head coach Billy Napier reportedly shook hands with Cowboys owner Jerry Jones over waffles and sweet tea.
“This deal’s gonna change college sports,” said an anonymous booster holding a suspicious amount of brisket. “Not only did we get cash, but now we’re feeding the team the best pulled pork in the SEC.”
The NCAA, upon hearing the news, reportedly had a collective nosebleed and went on a three-day meditation retreat.
Meanwhile, Riley was last seen on the Cowboys’ sideline looking confused and asking where his “intro to marine biology” class had gone.